After I had a misunderstanding with a friend the other day
it got me thinking again about communication. Communication is only partly the
words and tones you use. Communication is only partly your body language. The
main part of communication is actual the” in between” bits. It is the interpretation
bit.
It is the bit in between your words leaving your mouth and
images and shapes forming in your listener’s mind. It is the bit in between
your body gestures and the conclusion formed in your observers mind. The main
part of communication which is its interpretation is in a realm outside of your
influence. A very astute communicator is able to influence their audience so
that even when they do not communicate anything specific, a meaningful message
is still received by the crowd. How do
they do this? The communicator uses vague language. The crowd is therefore, left to interpret the message in a way that is
meaningful to them. This is a powerful technique when you wish to influence but
not if you wish to give some specific and detailed information.
It is clearly in the word itself: interpret. To interpret
means to “assign meaning to”, “conceptualise the meaning of”, “construe”. You
can watch your words, be a master of body language but all in vain if your
listener’s interpretation is way off your original course.
No wonder most people say: “The book was better than the movie!” The words in the book will conjure up for each
individual a better fitting visual image because they each create their own
tailor- made imaginary world. The words in the book remain the same but the
images in the readers head will vary tremendously to align the word with
experiences, beliefs and acquired logic.
Imagine what a “tall, lonely hero stood on the crest of the
hill, wind bellowing about his long, dark coat.” would look like to you.
Imagine what they would look like to an Asian or African person. Imagine what
they would look like to a lesbian, to a priest, to a dwarf. The world of mental
imagery is vast and out of your circle of control.
One way you can
ensure that what you communicate is actually interpreted as you intended, is to
get clarification.
How?
By asking some very good questions and listening intently to
their responses. By getting your listener to repeat back what they have
understood is one of the best ways to avoid any potential mis-communication and mis-interpretations.
Beware though that people can simply repeat your words back to you and still
have a different interpretation in their minds. This is the easiest hurdle to
trip over. Get clarification by asking
what your communicated message means to them. What does it look like to them
and what have they understood.
This quote says it all:
“The meaning of the communication is the response it
elicits!”
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