Musings on Communication!

After I had a misunderstanding with a friend the other day it got me thinking again about communication. Communication is only partly the words and tones you use. Communication is only partly your body language. The main part of communication is actual the” in between” bits. It is the interpretation bit.

It is the bit in between your words leaving your mouth and images and shapes forming in your listener’s mind. It is the bit in between your body gestures and the conclusion formed in your observers mind. The main part of communication which is its interpretation is in a realm outside of your influence. A very astute communicator is able to influence their audience so that even when they do not communicate anything specific, a meaningful message is still received by the crowd.  How do they do this? The communicator uses vague language. The crowd is therefore,  left to interpret the message in a way that is meaningful to them. This is a powerful technique when you wish to influence but not if you wish to give some specific and detailed information.

It is clearly in the word itself: interpret. To interpret means to “assign meaning to”, “conceptualise the meaning of”, “construe”. You can watch your words, be a master of body language but all in vain if your listener’s interpretation is way off your original course.

No wonder most people say:  “The book was better than the movie!”  The words in the book will conjure up for each individual a better fitting visual image because they each create their own tailor- made imaginary world. The words in the book remain the same but the images in the readers head will vary tremendously to align the word with experiences, beliefs and acquired logic.

Imagine what a “tall, lonely hero stood on the crest of the hill, wind bellowing about his long, dark coat.” would look like to you. Imagine what they would look like to an Asian or African person. Imagine what they would look like to a lesbian, to a priest, to a dwarf. The world of mental imagery is vast and out of your circle of control.

 One way you can ensure that what you communicate is actually interpreted as you intended, is to get clarification.

 How?

By asking some very good questions and listening intently to their responses. By getting your listener to repeat back what they have understood is one of the best ways to avoid any potential  mis-communication and mis-interpretations. Beware though that people can simply repeat your words back to you and still have a different interpretation in their minds. This is the easiest hurdle to trip over.  Get clarification by asking what your communicated message means to them. What does it look like to them and what have they understood.

This quote says it all:

“The meaning of the communication is the response it elicits!”